One year on; a letter to Felix.

Earlier this week I wrote about how it has now been a year since we found out we were expecting a baby. After writing that post, it got me thinking, and I wanted to write a little something to Felix, so here goes…

My darling son,

You’ve now been in our lives for just over a year and it has been the most magical, stomach-churning, eye-opening and life-changing year of my life.

Daddy and I had spoken about having babies for such a long time and finally, when the time was right, there you were. This little line on a stick, a tiny little life inside of me. All of a sudden I had a purpose, we both did, and that was you.

Being pregnant with you was wonderful. I was sick, but I loved it as it showed me you were developing. I got big, but I loved my new curves as I could see you getting bigger. There were foods I couldn’t eat, but I loved discovering how my body was reacting to you.

Feeling you kick, wriggle and hiccup inside me was magical. I was growing a life and we soon knew your routine. The sounds you reacted to, the times of day you wanted to wake. You loved listening to Adele with me as I got ready for work in the morning. You always woke as Daddy and I sat down to eat dinner in the evenings. You especially enjoyed my 11am chocolate break at work!

The moment you came out, that second Daddy and I got to see you for the first time… there are simply no words.

I was exhausted, we both were, it had all happened so fast. But you were just incredible. You were beautiful. As you cried in my arms for the first time, as you looked up at me with your big, loving eyes, I felt complete. As you laid on your Daddy whilst I got cleaned up, your tiny body against his, my world just came together.

You’re now almost four months old and this rollercoaster has been the best I’ve ever been on. The sleepless nights, the toe-curling feeding, the poopy nappies, the sick and dribble everywhere. Your first laugh, your first roll, your first smile. The first time we realised you’d grown out of clothes. The first time you stroked Sherlock. The way you look at Daddy and I with so much love and happiness.

You have changed our world and we love you so much. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being all that I, that we, could ever have asked for and more.

Mummy x.